To love him is to posses immense patience while enjoying the wild energy of ten thousand suns!
We anticipated the birth of our son with the loving anxiety of two new parents. His pregnancy was difficult and even hospitalized my wife for two non-consecutive weeks while keeping her couch ridden for months with visiting nurses and an IV stuck to her arm. One of those hospital stays started on Christmas Eve and ended on New Year’s Eve, and we welcomed 2007 with my wife at home.
Many men without children ask me what it was like being in the delivery room when he was born. Immediately the answer was - it was the first time I ever felt or witnessed a real miracle.
It was the only and best way to describe it. The delivery took over 24 hours, starting from the previous morning and ending almost six in the morning the next day. When he was finally born, I remember thinking that he had this amazingly interesting skin pattern, prickly in looks but perfectly smooth, and he smelled great. It was absolutely miraculous!
Upon leaving the hospital some nurses reprimanded me for incorrectly installing the car seat and made me break a sweat to fix it. When I finally had him and my wife in the car, we made the sign of the cross as people looked on an laughed, and we drove into the bright glow of Spring sunshine into our tiny New Jersey suburban home to start our lives as parents.
In my dreams I had visions of our first born being a girl, but the feelings I get from fathering a son are tremendous. I have a boy, in the midst of what appears to be an endless line of women living in our home, I have one male buddy. Over time I’ve awakened feelings of love of new and surprising dimension that I’m just beginning to learn and maneuver.
And he is amazing. One of my favorite things about him are his eyes. Not just that they’re crystal clear blue, but because he has these perpetually dilated pupils at their center, and he has the ability to look straight into my eyes, piercing through my flesh and touching the very essence of my soul. If unprepared, the event can be frightening. Instead, I surrender to the experience and connect with him in a fleshy spiritual phenomenon.
One summer when he was just two I took our son to the local fair and placed him on his very first amusement park rides. At first he wasn’t that excited but he noticed the stupid smile on my face and decided to give it a chance just to please me. As we went on more rides, he became increasingly excited and had an amazing time.
We entered our final ride and shared the cabin with an equally aged father and son duo, and the four of us spun the interior wheel of the ride and yelled and laughed in joyous bliss. After the ride, we stood and stared at each other for several moments as our eyes locked during one of our Vulcan mind meld events. I felt true and honest love emanating from his young spirit.
And yet he is multidimensional being both simple and complex. There was a time when my wife began to get concerned over his speech development and went crazy with sight words videos, sign language videos and teaching him on a one on one basis, and he’s become so much more expressive as a result; communicating with sign language, speaking Spanish and English and expressing feelings when appropriate.
He can be both well behaved, soft and sweet, or extremely difficult, wild and uncontrollable. But he’s always amazing. He’s our son, our first born and our true miracle.